Sometimes, who you know makes all the difference. Entering my freshman year in high school, I was slated to be the quarterback for the freshman team. Meanwhile, another quarterback, a junior, was expected to be the junior varsity quarterback. But he had only lived in Winnsboro for a year. Our coaches, on the other hand, had watched me grow up. They knew a lot about my talents, potential, and work ethic. Consequently, because of who I knew and who knew me, the coaches moved me ahead of the junior and made me the starting quarterback of the junior varsity.
In the season’s first game, I rewarded their faith by leading our team to its first loss in four years!!!
Thankfully, I recovered and am still alive today. (To be fair to the coaches, we won every game for the rest of the season and won the varsity district championship my senior season, defeating the team that had been # 1 in the state for most of the season in the last game.) However, who I knew made all the difference. That was the first time I learned how important it is to have someone above you to vouch for you.
This brings me to a problem that weighs heavy on my heart—that of racial division and separation in our country. I would not dare say that I feel closer to the Black community than all other people of my race. I do feel a kinship to the Black community, though, for several reasons.
To be transparent, I had a Black roommate for a few years when I was single. We were not best friends, but I owe him a lot regarding growth and perspective. Also, and this may sound strange, living in Papua New Guinea offered me a cultural and racial perspective I have never received anywhere else. Granted, these were Black Asians and not Black Americans, but I am in debt to them for numerous reasons.
Having said that, I have a deep appreciation for the police community. The seeds of what I do for a living were sown when I served as a volunteer police chaplain in West Texas.
I know some great folks in the police community and have known some not-so-great people. Ditto in the Black male Community.
The relationship between Black males and the police has been a national talking point for the past few years. All that is negative in that relationship is a symptom of a deeper problem. The problem is not racism. The problem is prejudice. But not in the prejudice that you think. More on that in a moment.
First, to define the problem, let me say that racism and prejudice are not the same thing. You can be prejudiced and not be a racist, but if you are a racist, you are, by definition, prejudiced.
Think to yourself, if you were asked to define prejudice, how would you do so? One definition is “any preconceived opinion or feeling, either favorable or unfavorable,” but here is another: “unreasonable feelings, opinions, or attitudes, especially of a hostile nature, regarding an ethnic, racial, social, religious, economic or another group.”
That is what I want to highlight.
Again, I ask, are there racists in the United States? Sure. But I honestly believe it is self-evident that there are fewer now than before.
One example is the second-term election of a Black president (Barak Obama) and the appointment and support of white conservatives of a Black woman (Condoleezza Rice) as secretary of state in 2005.
However, does prejudice exist in the United States? Yes, there are unreasonable feelings and opinions expressed by people against those of another group, and they can even be of the same race.
Have you ever heard someone ask, “How in the world could you go to that church?” Prejudice against church denomination.
Or “You voted for who? Why isn’t that person a member of such and such political party?” Prejudice against those of another party.
Perhaps the most deeply felt prejudice is, “You went to UT (University of Texas)! How could you?” or “You’re an Aggie (Texas A & M)!” [Insert your own local college rivalry here.]
It’s human nature to look to those with whom you want to identify and form a group.
“We’re Rotarians, and I like us!”
“Those Shriners are scoundrels. Yea us.”
It’s a form of a tribe. We like tribes. But tribes can be dangerous. Tribes can hurt people.
I remember when I preached my first sermon in Papua New Guinea. I have to tell you, it was a bad experience. Members of two tribes were present, and the next day, I got word that after my sermon, a few hours after I left, there was a tribal war, and some people were even axed to death. That was over 40 years ago, so the years have given me distance and a better perspective from which to evaluate. One of the lessons I have learned is that it is always a bad sign when people respond to your sermon by starting a tribal war.
Actually, I learned that my sermon wasn’t why they fought each other. The groups of people of the same race had formed two different tribes, and each tribe had cultivated a negative, prejudiced view of the other. Those views provoked them to make negative assumptions and to take adverse, harmful actions.
That is an extreme example of the problem to which prejudice can lead.
Do we have prejudice in the U.S.? Absolutely, but the bigger problem I submit to you is not Black/White prejudice; it is economic prejudice. Prejudice by those who have much toward those who have little. Or vice versa.
One example: as hard as it is to get people of different races AND racial cultures to worship together each week, I believe it is harder to get rich and poor or even middle class and poor to worship together.
Now, what does this have to do with Black men and the police?
So often, you have in our major cities large groups of Black men who do not work. Some are lazy, but many are not. Some are angry, but many are not.
It is easy to say that the problem for many of these men is that they are unemployed and should keep trying until they get jobs. Certainly, persistence is terrific, and I encourage anyone who cannot find a job to not give up.
I should also lift weights three days a week. But I don’t.
I should visit more people from my church who are in the hospital than I do.
I should be more patient than I am.
There is a lot that I should do, but I don’t.
And here is the dirty little secret, if Black men don’t know the right people, the likelihood of them getting a job goes down.
I did not pay a dime for my doctorate education. Unbeknownst to me, the head of the seminary took a hard look at my ministry in a small West Texas town, considered my low income, and arranged a full scholarship. He vouched for me. It came down to who I knew.
I received every preaching job because someone important was willing to vouch for me. It came down to who I knew.
I got my company, the WorkEdge Company’s first job because someone important was willing to vouch for me. It came down to who I knew.
On the other hand, there have been jobs through the years that I did not obtain, even though I felt I was more qualified. It frustrated me to no end. But I had no one important in the lives of the decision-makers willing to vouch for me. It came down to who I did NOT know.
To boil it down, some of the desperate emotions I have seen in the Black male community over the past few years are, in my opinion, rooted in the feeling that they are experiencing injustice.
These men are absolutely right–in the sense that they are not getting the same chance as those who know the right people. Yet, the problem is not racism; it is prejudice.
Again, to illustrate, I don’t care if you are the most skilled federal judge in the United States of America. Suppose you attended Cal Northern School of Law instead of Harvard, Yale, or Columbia. In that case, you will not become a Supreme Court Justice. It will not happen. Who you know can make all the difference.
I am convinced there is a way to influence the inner-city Black male community that will have a positive ripple effect over time. It will contribute to male self-esteem and personal industry and even strengthen families. While it is less monetarily expensive than traditional government programs, it is more costly regarding time and relationships.
The way is to enter into the Black inner city culture and find individuals about whom one could say, “I know him” or “I vouch for him.”
It is a risk. But I met someone from a restaurant my company serves a while back. This someone was a woman who had spent several years in prison for her Meth addiction. When she was released, her sister, who managed a restaurant, asked if the restaurant chain could give her sister a job. “I’ll vouch for her,” she said.
The sister was given a job that included menial labor, like washing floors and baseboards. Within a couple of years, she worked up to manager of another restaurant in that franchise.
But where would she have been without the credibility of her sister, who vouched for her?
So many times, it really is who you know.
Speaking of knowing, we recognize that a form of the golden rule has existed through the ages, from Israel to India, from Jesus to Confucius.
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Who among us would want to relive our lives without the blessing of people we knew and who knew us, those who would vouch for us? Why then deny that gift from those in the Black male community?
You can order Mark’s new book Holy Chaos How To Walk with God in a Frenzied World here: