There was a point about twenty years ago when I reached a real impasse in my ministry. When working with people, I felt frustrated and impatient. That was not good. Then, I checked out an audiobook by Dale Carnegie called “How to Win Friends and Influence People” from the public library. It made a massive impact on my life.
My graduate school friends who loved works of theology and exegesis were appalled. Let me explain why this book was so important to me.
First, a fundamental tenet of John chapter one and Philippians chapter two is that Jesus became flesh, dwelt among us, and served us. He did so in part to better understand the human experience. Understanding where the other person comes from is a central precept of Carnigie’s book. Nothing creates empathy for God like living in skin. Good or bad, Jesus knows what we are going through.
Remember Hebrews 2: 18, “Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted”? And what about Hebrews 4:15, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin” [NIV]?
When there is conflict or even separation in a relationship–and there was between God and humans before Jesus came (see Rom. 5:5-11)—an excellent way to address it is to figuratively put yourself in the skin of another person. To see things from that one’s perspective and act relationally and strategically.
In facing today’s hostile culture, the church would do well to put these teachings and applications into practice. In other words, we need to understand where people are coming from so that we can be “shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves.”
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You can purchase Mark’s new book Holy Chaos How To Walk with God in a Frenzied World here: